A few months ago, I started the process of writing my first book. In the beginning, it was stimulating, inspiration was flowing to me effortlessly, but after a few weeks, the writing process became overwhelming. I felt stuck in the creation process, my anxiety was blocking my creative flow and prevented me from writing. I was experiencing a writer’s block.
I KNEW IT WAS TIME TO MICRODOSE
Research shows that tiny doses of Psilocybin can stimulate brain function and boost creativity. I had tried microdosing a few times before, all of these experiences had been positive. I had also microdosed occasionally to help integrate the insights of my psilocybin journeys. I find microdosing helps to remind me of the insights gained on magic mushrooms and connects me once again to how profound the experience was. It helps me to think more freely.
Reading the work of James Fadiman, I felt inspired to start a 30-day microdosing cycle. He recommends taking a microdose in the morning once every three days. Before I began my microdosing magic mushroom cycle, I had a test day to help me find the right dosage because it is possible for your dosage to change over time. I started with 0.3 dried grams of magic mushrooms because this is 10% of a standard dose of Psilocybin mushrooms that I had used in the past. To my surprise, this time the dosage was too high for me because I felt I wasn’t able to do all my daily tasks as usual. A few days later, I tried 0.2 dried grams and found that this was the proper microdose for me because I didn’t feel high, but I could still feel the subtle effects of the magic mushroom. My body felt lighter and more relaxed than usual. I also experienced more clarity in my thinking.
For my 30-day microdosing mushroom cycle, I set the intention to find a new workflow that connects me to my creativity and passion. I absolutely love my work as a therapist and a creative writer, but at times it felt like an obligation which took the joy out of it. I wanted to regain the curiosity and enthusiasm that I had in the beginning.
ON THE FIRST MICRODOSING MUSHROOM DAY, I FELT LIGHTER AND MORE IN TOUCH WITH EMOTIONS.
I remember being on the train to Amsterdam feeling peaceful and content. The shift that I noticed was that I was no longer overthinking. I am naturally someone that thinks a lot and I question basically everything. When I am microdosing magic mushrooms, it feels like I finally have a break from these never ending thinking patterns. I am naturally in a more observant state. My thoughts become more playful and less fearful. I start to feel more confident because my inner critic calms down.
On the second and third day of my cycle, as recommended by James Fadiman, I did not take a microdose. This allows us to integrate the state of being from the microdosing day into our daily life. During these days, the feeling of calm and centeredness continued on. Microdosing helped me become aware of my thinking and behavioral patterns. But even when I wasn’t under the influence of Psilocybin on day 2 and 3, I experienced that I was able to catch myself when I was in a negative thinking spiral. It allowed me to make the conscious decision to become aware of what was going on within me and make changes accordingly.
In the first few weeks, I was constantly looking forward to the microdosing days that felt like a fun experiment. I felt more open to receiving new ideas, and my senses became heightened. It was easier for me to focus on the creative task in front of me, and I naturally started to write and paint more often.
A TINY DOSE OF PSILOCYBIN MADE ME FEEL LIGHTER AND MORE PRESENT.
This doesn’t mean I was always feeling better or happier. Some days I felt extremely tired because I needed to rest more. An important lesson I learned is that I can only create when I am well rested and that I need to make self-care a priority in my life. Some days I felt overly sensitive and my anxiety started to surface. Psilocybin inspired me to explore my emotions without judgment and to see them as messengers. Whenever I felt resistant, I consciously decided to tune into me so I could connect to my truth.
I AM PERFECTLY IMPERFECT. I AM HERE TO LEARN.
I stopped taking my writing so seriously. I became more playful and stopped forcing myself to write. I realised that I need more breaks in the creation process, so I have the time to fully understand and direct what it is that I am creating. I became aware of how words and feelings are connected. Writing became a feeling experience. I remember sitting in a small café with a delicious warm cup of coffee and my laptop in front of me. I could intensely feel my fingertips touch the keyboard and as I read the words on the screen, I could feel them touch my heart.
“Some days, it will take a long time to get something done. Other days you can do it faster than you have ever imagined, and there will be days when it is best to do nothing. All these days are a part of the cycle of creation and are equally important.”
My philosophical mind was no longer racing and chasing ideas. My goal was no longer to write a book. The idea of needing to have something ready in a specific timeframe created anxiety within me. When I am overly focused on a particular result, I am blocking my creative flow. A philosopher like me doesn’t find joy in finding answers or finishing projects. I find my joy in questioning and creating without a specific result in mind.
“I find joy in the things that make me question life and reality. I find joy in the simple and mundane. I find joy in the complex. I find joy in solving problems. When one problem is solved, I will find a new one. When one question is answered, I will find a new one.”
Taking tiny doses of Psilocybin mushrooms helped me to find joy in the process of creation by taking the edge off. It gently took away my seriousness and brought me back in touch with my playfulness. Under the influence of magic mushrooms, I felt my mind more at ease. I lost my attachment to the result and was able to create freely again and did things just for the fun of it.
“THE KEY TO CREATION IS LOSING YOUR EXPECTATIONS.”
Psilocybin didn’t remove any creative blockages for me. It showed me that nothing is blocking me in the first place. We all are naturally creative beings filled with potential. As humans, we can often think that something is hindering us or preventing us from doing something. What I learned is that creation happens in cycles instead of a straight line forward.
“There is an art in doing nothing and taking the rest you need. All art is created from empty space. The process of creation happens in phases. Respect each phase with care. Make love to your ideas and projects. We can only give birth to something truly great when it is created with pleasure.”
My 30-day microdosing cycle inspired me to listen to my needs and intuition in every moment. This includes taking the rest I need, doing something for the fun of it, laughing at my mistakes, and letting go of my need for specific results. I started to questions my actions, thoughts, and motives. I found that perspective is most often the key to happiness. Psilocybin showed me that life is not about attaining something in the future. It is about learning to be present and find the wonderful in the here and now.
“Microdosing magic mushrooms strengthened my connection with Psilocybin in a beautifully subtle way. I now have an extraordinary connection with her spirit that mainly communicates through feelings. It is a connection that goes far beyond words.”
Microdosing is highly influenced by your intention and personal experiences. This means that not everyone who tries microdosing will experience the same effects. The experiences and outcomes of microdosing mushrooms or other substances can vary a lot. It is dependent on your unique needs and desires.